I struggle with perfectionism. There, I said it.
Perfectionism is a silent killer of joy. A project can be 90% percent beautiful, but that last 10% WRONG is the only thing that matters to a perfectionist. The big picture is lost in the polar-thinking, all-or-nothing attitude.
And because admitting the very wrong or the very ugly 10% can be painfully embarrassing, a perfectionist, like myself, will sit quietly and pray that no one notices. At the same time, this glaringly WRONG 10% is not used as ammunition. You see, while on the outside nothing seems off for the perfectionist, on the inside a barrage of negative self-talk and lies are pummeling the value of the perfectionist.
Most of the year I have it in check. I recognize this pattern of thought is skewed. I remind myself that my value is found in Christ and the 10% does not affect my worth. It is not the end of the world.
But Christmastime always seems to spark my perfectionism. The pressure is on. Everywhere. I. Turn.
Stories of healing families, surprise gifts, miracles, and storybook endings around a Christmas tree tell me that I “should” have this picture perfect Christmas experience and anything else means there is something wrong with me or my life.
I want to tell you (as I reaffirm to myself here as well) don’t fall into this trap!
Christmas is celebrated because we are (I am) broken and flawed and anything but perfect. Jesus was born and died BECAUSE of that imperfection.
We did not know how to love well. Jesus modeled how to love well. We did not know the character of God. Jesus taught us the character of God. We sinned and pulled away from Him. Jesus died so that we would never be separated from Him.
“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” – Romans 5:8
God sees His perfect creation and not our sin when He looks at our hearts. That is perfect love.
Even after I’ve tried my best, anything I can offer will always be at least 10% flawed, whether it’s Christmastime or Summertime or any time in between. Thankfully, Jesus makes up the 10% or 30% or even 90% I fall short.
My value will always be “His perfect creation.” No wrong mistakes or 10% ugly moments can change that.
In the spirit of recognizing imperfection as a natural and ongoing phenomenon, I’m leaving you with this video blog by Natalie Hodson recorded for the “Perfectly Imperfect” campaign. I love her honesty and vulnerability. It’s a great reminder that an imperfect reality is hiding just beyond the photo-finish. We are not alone in that imperfection.
|Ginny Priz is a Christian coach, writer and speaker. Ginny has overcome her own drama with a birth defect, alcohol, panic disorder, and codependency. She has a passion for guiding others toward the same peace and freedom she has come to experience. Ditching drama is possible for anyone “armed” with God and the Serenity Prayer! It’s never too late to start your own Serenity Journey.|